330 Reblog

3 days ago

h0t-southern-mess:

thatsouthernway:

Hot Southern Mess 👍💋👢

😁👌
499902 Reblog

3 days ago

"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad."
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”   (via 2977miles)

(Source: internmarlee, via in-the-back-of-that-red-ragtop)

912 Reblog

3 days ago

534434 Reblog

3 days ago

jenkotsu:

takemeasiamff:

thebravedontsurrender:

afadedbouquet:

brunomarsislife:

THE MOST ACCURATE GIFSET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Jenna Marbles describes the female tumblr world with complete accuracy.

should i be embarrassed to reblog this because im fuCKING NOT

HONESTLYYY

Women of tumblr, lesbihonest now

(Source: babyintrenchcoat, via indianadarlin)

174 Reblog

1 week ago

13331 Reblog

1 week ago

383 Reblog

1 week ago

2676 Reblog

1 week ago

66672 Reblog

1 week ago

patientlights:

anxiety is terrible, you could be having an attack and no one would even know because it’s an inward thing. it feels like you’re malfunctioning and you can’t process your own thoughts. you get a knot in your stomach and you can’t take a full breath but outwardly you can literally just sit there and look completely normal as long as no one tries to speak to you.

(via derdiamant)

2125 Reblog

1 week ago

TEENAGE GIRL TWEETS TERRORIST THREAT TO AIRLINE AND BRAGS ABOUT HOW MANY FOLLOWERS SHE’S GETTING

shybairnsget-nowt:

tubaeric:

So this girl actually did this….

image

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…and then proceeded to brag about it and say how happy she was that she was getting followers and favorites:

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Then after it hit her how much shit she was in….

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even though she had already changed her story several other times….

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and also….just let it sink in that she thought blocking the FBI would actually let them not find her…..image

people like this are literally the scum of the earth

"I blocked the FBI just in case" 

Wow. 

(via thegirl-in-thedress)

17484 Reblog

1 week ago

findsomethingtofightfor:

Elsa + hips

Elsa and Meg could have a hip-off

image

(via in-the-back-of-that-red-ragtop)

216 Reblog

1 week ago

dreamshare:

by trixdraws
10395 Reblog

1 month ago

388 Reblog

1 month ago

imgfave:

Posted by dreamgirl1
4732 Reblog

1 month ago

I want this back..
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